So, this trip back, like every year, I reflect on how good God is to allow us to go back and visit each year. He has always provided for our needs...and our desires to go back and visit family and friends. But also, every year, what happens is this time of refelction on all that God has done over the year. Mainly, how my heart grows more and more attached to Costa Rica and her people, as each year passes.
Last year, we felt such a connection to our friends and church here that it was hard to leave. Circumstances being what they were last year, we were unsure of our future in Costa Rica at that time. So our hearts were sad as we left, not sure of a permanent return.
This year, however, our hearts are burdened with a feeling that is very new. We've wrestled all week with this dread of leaving loved ones- those here with whom God has uniquely knitted our hearts. For the first time in four years, I feel like I am truly leaving my home...but in a strange sense...to visit what is also home.
This feeling is not new- the one where I feel so at home in Costa Rica that to leave brings sadness, mixed with the feeling of not quite fitting in at our US home, yet feeling that intense desire to see family and friends.
But this time, in these days, it is a different song my heart sings. It is the song of a love so great for the place and people God has placed us that it is painful, scary, and just plain difficult to leave. Even knowing where we are going. Even rejoicing in the blessing of this trip- that pain is there, gripping me. All week long I've been on the brink of tears, wrestling with this in my heart. Almost not wanting it to be there, as if I have become a traitor of sorts. Yet, in the same moment, a sweet feeling of peace washes over me as I realize that my heart is God's home and I am at home only when I am residing with Him. I realized last night during worship what a sweet time in my life this is, to have been given this love. My heart seeps joy and for that, today I am thankful!
So today, I continue to give thanks to the God who is the giver of all good things.
#'s 1025 - 1037
- for the way my heart breaks to leave this land, even if only for a month
-for thoes here who are like family, who in the very sense of the word are
-for those who place hands on us and pray
-for worship in English
-for Marvin Mefford's beautiful voice and how it brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it
-singing praises to my King
-being broken with gratitude, joy and praise
-love for You, Jesus
-being able to say, "See you Thursday!" to my parents
-being loved
-girly birthday parties
-the joy of friendship
-the beauty of restoration
3 comments:
safe travels! Love you guys!
I wonder if you guys are back now – as I leave this comment? I won't say I wonder if you guys are "home" after reading this – home really is where the heart is. No? I think it's wonderful what you guys do. I've probably said that before. God bless and keep you and all of yours Brooke.
PS my favorite from your list – the last one – friendships. At the beginning of the year I named this year "connect" – it has its challenges – and it's heartbreaks – but it Is the way God designed us. God bless.
I still don't know if you guys are back yet – but I do want you to know that I came by to read you. That's it – just wanted you to know that I was here. God bless and keep you and all of yours Brooke.
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