Lead Me To The Cross

What a crazy week. I wrote about the spiritual oppression going on this week, the sickness that spread trough the campus, and the pagan festival was celebrated here this week. We've had a youth mission team here this week, lead by a great friend of ours. The sickness took us out of ministry for two days with them, yet the Lord did do much in what little time we were able to be out sharing Him with Antigua!

Months ago, we had discussed with our friend the possibility of doing an outreach on Saturday, December 7, knowing that there was a specific pagan festival celebrated here in Antigua on that day every year. As our friend worked on what that outreach looked like with his team, we prepared prayerfully here. Saturday afternoon we gathered together - our friend's team and all students and staff here on campus - to pray and talk about what the afternoon would look like. The mission team had prepared a powerful drama set to the song Lead Me to the Cross in Spanish. The drama portrays a woman who becomes weighed down and entangled as sin upon sin holds her captive and keeps her in chains- until Jesus comes and takes those chains off of her and one by one puts them on himself, falling to the weight of them. As Jesus falls to the ground, weighed down by the sin he has taken upon himself, the enemy lurks in and begins beating him. After they nail him to the cross, he breathes his last breath, the chains of sin still hang around his neck. But then He rises in victory and sin nor death can him down. He begins to remove the chains one by one and then takes them all off and throws them to the ground. He raises his hands in victory and embraces the woman who he set free from the chains. He took her place and she is fully aware of that, yet there he stands, arms open with love. She found herself at the foot of the cross and there she found love, freedom, peace, mercy, and grace. It is an extremely powerful and moving skit.

The idea was to perform the drama in several different areas around Antigua with the gospel being shared at each location and staff and students being available to talk with those who had questions after the gospel presentation.

What I will share about the festival that is held on that day every year is this- it is a ritual that has deceived a people who have believed in idols and false gods, and worshipped many things apart from the One True God for far too long. The ritual is called 'the burning of the devil' and the people believe that is they clean our their homes, then burn a devil (like a papier-mâché form of a devil) along with the trash they cleaned out of their homes, they will purify themselves and their homes from the sins of the past year and the cleanse themselves from evil. They believe this act saves them from the evil of the devil and purifies them for the coming of Mary. They believe she is holy as Christ is holy. Each town also erects a statue of the devil with the purpose of a publicly burning the statue as well.

The sad truth to this is that in trying to rid themselves of the devil and the evil he brings in this way, they are only glorifying him and giving him a foothold in this country. At the same time as this public burning takes place, people in the crowd wear devil horn headbands, are dressed up as devils, and many are drunk or on drugs. It is really one big party. And also a sad reminder of the fallen, deceived world we live in whose only hope is Jesus Christ.

After praying on Saturday, we made our way into the center of Antigua and stopped right under the arch. That is where the team first performed the drama  and the gospel was shared. The drama was very powerful as was the clear gospel presentation. Afterwards, we spread out and began passing out tracts and talking with those who seemed interested in having a conversation. I began talking with two separate couples who I had seen many times before. They sell hand made jewelry. The first couple completely stonewalled any conversation, telling the second couple all I was talking about was 'another religion.' I began explaining how very different than religion Jesus was. The second couple was engaged and interested, but the conversation quickly turned away from Christ to other things. I thanked them for their time but moved on.

As I walked back towards the group, I noticed a guy off by himself, working with metal and wire, forming some jewelry piece. I sat down on the edge of the curb, as he was already sitting back against a wall, right under the arch. I gave him a tract we commonly hand out inviting the receiver to the great wedding feast of Christ. He engaged in conversation and for the next half an hour or maybe more, Matt and I began to share the gospel and much more with our new friend, Emerson. After some time, we needed to move on. We invited Emerson to church and encouraged him to come so that we could continue our conversation. We were so burdened as we walked away, yet hopeful for the intensity with he had asked his questions and his desire to know the answers. He described himself as a world traveler, content to have no family, no home, nothing other than his work and enough to survive.

Our next stop was on the corner of Arch street. We began setting up and were quickly approached by one of the many tourist police officers whose job it is to help keep Antigua's tourists safe. We were informed that without a permit we could not make any type public performance. The officer then leaned over and lowered his voice and told us to go away where he couldn't see us and do our thing. He literally gave us a free pass to do whatever we wanted as long as he didn't see it. Praise God for His favor with local authority!

So we moved into Central Park and performed the skit right there in the center by the fountain! There was quite the crowd. The sense of oppression was much thicker here. Immediately after beginning the music and the drama, a man on a loudspeaker began talking and all but drowned out the music. God was still glorified though and afterwards the Lord put on our daughter Isabelle's heart to go and talk with a young woman in the crowd. We found out her name was also Isabel - hardly a coincidence...and so totally God. I sensed immediately some sort of oppression in her life, chains of some sort weighing her down and begin to ask some pointed, personal questions. She opened up immediately and began to weep as she shared her story with me. I asked her if I could pray for her and right there she confessed that she knew the Lord but had walked so far away from Him. I told her that it was not by chance that she was right there at that exact time. She was only to be in Antigua for a few hours and then on her way elsewhere. She thought that we did that kind of drama and presentation every day and I explained that we did not but that the Lord had laid it on our hearts to be there that specific day and maybe at that exact spot just for her. She prayed with me and I believed her heart was changed and she turned back to the Lord.

We then moved down towards the large indoor market. Matt and I have been burdened for the market place for some time now. About a month ago, we stood in the open air part of the market, the real Guatemalan section where we do not go without a Guatemalan.It was early on a Saturday morning, and the Lord gave us a vision of being there and ministering to the hundreds of Mayans that make their living selling fruits and vegetables. Everywhere you look there are mounds of vibrantly colored fruits and vegetables and behind every mound or produce, sits the Mayan woman, barefoot, hair pulled back off her face, her wipil (typical Guatemala ladies blouse) tucked neatly into her skirt, sitting on her cardboard mat or vegetable leaves covering the ground. The Lord allowed us both to see the great need of the people who sell their wares there, the people who shop there, the children who work or run around, in and out of the stalls. That burden has stayed with us and we had been asking the Lord to show us if we were to take this team and their drama to the market.

We only made it to the very outer, first part of the market on this Saturday, but it was right where we were supposed to be. We've been in and out of this particular spot probably a hundred times since living here. As soon as the music started a large crowd formed. The oppression was thicker there than any other place we'd been that day. As the drama started, I looked over and saw no less than 20 paper maché devils hanging just a hundred feet or so from us. The crowd became rather large as the drama continued. Afterwards several people came to know the Lord! What great joy to see the response from those whose lives have now been eternally changed! The team pulled out the balloons and quickly began making balloon swords and animals as a line of children formed even quicker! One of the most precious sites was when about 7 little boys, with their balloon swords in hand, began chasing after our staff intern RA  as he fended them off with an empty water jug that was used as a drum during the songs that were sung before the drama. Pure joy and delight came from their mouths and was evident on all their faces!

We eventually had to stop, despite the line of children still waiting as the sun was going down and the market is no place to be after dark. We made our way down to the bright yellow La Merced church on Arch street which was to be the last place the drama would be performed.

At this point, Matt and I and the kids headed back to the center, long with Karol and her boys. Partly because we wanted to have the children back before the festival began and also because Ethan was feeling very ill.

After the team arrived back at the center and we had eaten dinner, we debriefed the day with the team and our students. They experienced a sweet, intimate time with a small crowd at the last spot where they performed the drama. They also witnessed the ending of the celebration. Their hearts were deeply saddened at what they saw at the festival. But they were also filled with joy and hope and all were encouraged as we shared stories of the day.

The Lord is so good. He is at work here in Antigua. The city is so lost and so in need of Jesus, their Savior. We have been given such a privilege to serve Him here. The need is great as is the responsibility. We know that God is in control and the work of changing a person's heart, the work of bringing this city to His feet, is all His. But the responsibility is great because we see so much more than what most see who are just passing through. We feel the burden and recognize the Lord's call upon our lives. He has called us here- the harvest is plenty. We are so thankful to be here fro such a time as this.

It is with great joy that I can report to you that Emerson, the jewelry maker from under the Arch, came to church tonight! We invited him to stay for dinner and he did. Our students engaged him and one member of the team and one of our students shared their testimonies with him. He was impacted. Please keep praying for him! Also, Antonio, one of the men who gave his life to the Lord at the market, came to church and also brought a friend. Matt and I as well a student from the Bible college spoke with him at length after he accepted the Lord. Matt told him if he came to church, Matt would give him a Bible because he said he did not own one. So, as soon as he came in, I went to get his Bible and gave it to him and also got one for his friend.

We praise the Lord for what He is doing in Antigua. We know we are here by His grace alone and we are so thankful. Please continue to pray for the city of Antigua, the Guatemalan people, and the Lord's work here.

If the Lord had not been on our side...

" 'If the Lord had not been on our side,'
Let Israel now say-
'If it had not been the Lord who was on our side,
When men rose up against us,
Then they would have swallowed us alive,
When their wrath was kindled against us;
Then the waters would have overwhelmed us,
The stream would have gone over our soul.'

Blessed be the Lord,
Who has not given us over to their teeth.
Our soul has escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowlers;
The snare is broken, and we have escaped.
Our help is in the name of the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth." Psalm 124:1-8

"Those who trust in the Lord
are like Mount Zion,
Which cannot be moved,
but abides forever." Psalm 125:1

If it had not been the Lord who was on our side...

This week would have been so much more devastating...

You see, this week most of the PFM campus was stricken with a horrible stomach virus. The virus knocked out most of the visiting mission team, most of the staff onsite, half of our interns, and most of the Bible college students. It kept every who got it in the bathroom with bouts of vomiting or in bed with horrible stomach cramps, chills, fever, body aches, and headaches.

However,

'If it had not been the Lord who was on our side...'

You see, even though this sickness that spread through the campus was rough, inconvenient, and forced us to cancel ministry opportunities we had planned with the team...but we also recognize that this illness is part of a spiritual battle that rages all around us that we cannot see, but can most certainly feel, especially at times like this when it seems aimed right at this center.

Tuesday we had one of the most amazing opportunities to serve what one might consider some of the least of these, but whom surely are some of the most highly esteemed in the Lord's eyes. Here in Antigua, there is a hospital called Hermano Pedro (Brother Peter) that is home for 240 some patients, most of whom are physically disabled in some way; many who have some form of mental incapacity; ALL need the love of Jesus in a real and tangible way.

A little over a month ago, we found out about this hospital and even met some of the young boys who live there while sharing the gospel and passing out Bibles in Antigua one afternoon. We met a group who serve in another ministry near Antigua who were visiting with some of the patients and were on a walk with them. We shared the gospel with each of the young boy patients and gave each one of them a Bible. We exchanged information with the assistant director of that ministry that day and later contacted him through email but never heard anything back from him. A few weeks ago, we visited the hospital to find out more information about how we might be able to serve the patients that live there. We were then given information for the person in charge of volunteers and told to contact her. I contacted her a few days later and set up an appointment for a tour of the hospital and time to be able to ask questions and discuss what opportunities existed for us to serve there.

The next day, Matt and I and our kids, along with all six interns went to visit the hospital and take the tour. What took place that day was a true work of the Lord. On many levels, being there was very difficult for some in our group. On many levels, being there was so encouraging and so overwhelming.  But overall, the time spent there that day was proof of God opening the door for more time to be spent there.

After the tour that day, I set up two more times for us to come and serve with Pastor D's team. The plan was that we would come and help serve dinner one day and then lunch the other day. We could also bring bubbles, a guitar, and balloons to make balloon animals if we desired.

Our interns were so impacted by that visit that they asked and pleaded that we go back on Friday, which was to be there only day off of the week. We were blown away at the intensity of their request to go back. We decided that we would wait upon the Lord and not rush into something out of emotion or our desire but wait to see what He had planned for us and future ministry there.

It did not work out for us to go that Friday and we could all see that the Lord's hand was upon that.

But almost all of us were eagerly anticipating going again on Tuesday. We briefed the team about the hospital, the patients, and about expectations for the afternoon before leaving. We bathed the whole outing in prayer and entered the hospital. Once there, there was an unmistakeable energy flowing through us. We did not really now what to expect as this was the first ministry opportunity we had had here. But when we met up with our contact, she informed us that there was a hospital wide activity for all the patients and we were welcome to participate in it if we liked. We could play the guitar, sing, do balloon animals and anything else we had planned as well. So, we joined in to help with the activity. Our first task was to help bring patients from their rooms to the area of the activity. Some took off to help bring the adult men while others took off to bring the children. Some stayed to entertain the patients who were already arriving. I went with some of the students to the children's wing.

This is by far the most visited wing in the hospital. It is no wonder why. It is heartbreaking to see children who for the most part have been abandoned and left in this hospital. So many of the volunteers who come and serve in the hospital spend most of their time with the children. But equally as heartbreaking are the other areas of the hospital where the adult men, adult women, and young adults live. These patients get the least amount of visitors, but they are desperate for attention. The hospital is run completely by donations from charitable organizations, humanitarian groups, and religious organizations. There is a paid staff of nurses for each wing, maintenance and cleaning staff, as well as administrative staff. But all doctors are strictly volunteers- and throughout the year there are different doctors who come and donate all of their time, medicine, and equipment to perform surgeries on the patients. It is truly remarkable. The hospital is a Catholic hospital. Hermano Pedro is believed to be a saint and highly worshipped in Antigua. One of the main churches here has his body embalmed in a tomb and people come from all over to pay homage to him and to pray to him. Because of the Catholic influence, we feel the Lord opening the door to bring the light of Christ into the hospital. We can do nothing else for them except share Jesus with them.

The staff of the hospital truly have a heart and a calling for what they do. Our tour guide and liaison stopped in every wing to talk with the patients, call them by name, or to just give them a few minutes of her time and affection. The nurses are business like, but once you begin to be around them and talk with them you see their hearts are really loving to the patients. Most of them have worked their for over 10 years.

So, once in the children's wing, we began to transport patients from the wing to the activity area. Once we had transported all who were able to go, I went back to gather up those who remained with the patients. One of our interns begged me to let her stay with her new friend. One of the team members also wanted to stay for awhile longer. I asked the nurse if we were allowed to remain with the children who were still in their beds and she gave us permission. So I stayed with those who asked to stay. I walked around and visited with the few who were awake. Most were napping. One little boy who had captured my heart the first time we were there was crying as he was being fed his bottle. He is around 5, but has the body of a three year old. He does not speak or walk, but has good strength in his upper body and arms. He was born out of his mother being raped when she was just a teenager. She tried to care for him for a time, but his medical needs were too demanding for her to maintain and she ultimately turned him over to the care of the hospital. I walked over to his bed and began rubbing his feet and legs while the nurse fed him. I began a conversation with the nurse to find out more about him. After she had fed him and lifted up the bar on his bed, I stayed at his side. He pulled himself up to a sitting position and reached for me and grabbed my hand into his and held on. I had to catch my breath as I was not expecting that he would do this. One of our interns had already asked me specifically about seeing this little boy that day, and since he was now calm and very alert I asked the nurse if I go bring a friend back to visit with the little boy. She said yes, but caught me off guard by saying to me, "Now you know he cannot hold him." I assured her that my friend just wanted to visit with the little boy and that he understood that he could not hold him.

I went to get our intern and walked back with him and took him to the little boy. As we arrived at his bed, the little boy greeted our intern the same way he had greeted me. I had to catch my breath again. I began talking with the nurse again as she was now feeding the child behind the bed of the little boy. She reminded me that my friend could not hold the little boy. She said that the children loved to be held, but that they cry for so long afterwards that it makes it so difficult on them (the children). I asked her if they ever get held. She paused before she answered and said that it is not because they do not want to hold them, but more because there are so many of the children and so little of the nurses. There just are not enough of them to go around. She said the little boy in particular would cry all night long if he was held. She paused again. Not long after that comment, she looked at me and asked, 'Does your friend want to hold the boy?' I said, 'Really?' She said 'Yes.' I asked our intern and he could only nod his head yes. Having heard the whole conversation I am sure that he was just as surprised as I was to hear her give him permission to hold the child.

The nurse unlatched the crib rail and allowed our intern to pick up the child. For the next hour or so, he walked and held the child. I watched the two of them from time to time and what I saw would melt any mother's heart. To see the child lean his head upon the shoulder of this young man, curl up against his chest, and lean into him was nothing short of a God-blessing. I watched the nursing staff as well. I watched them take in the scene and listened to their comments. I saw their surprise at how patient and loving and caring this young man was with this little child. I watched them as they watched our intern try various times to set the child in his crib, only for the child to being crying again. So our student would pick up the child again, comfort him and begin walking around the room with him again. Finally, the child was comfortable enough to sit down in his crib and our intern began to play a game with him. Three short taps of his finger and wait...do it again...three short taps of his finger and wait. over time the chid began to repeat the three short taps with his own finger. Our intern called me over to watch. Like all kids do when their loved ones want them to 'perform' this child was no different and seemed to get 'stage fright' when I came over to watch. I tried to coax him to mimic our intern. And he finally did. I encouraged him, snuggled him, and then watched and giggled as he did it again. The faint traces of a smile skimmed across his otherwise solemn face. His eyes made direct contact with mine every time I praised him. I watched the nurses as we rejoiced with this precious little child.

By this time other children were beginning to wake up. I walked over to the crib of one of the older girls in the children's wing. At first she was completely unresponsive to my attempts to communicate with her. Until one of the nurses brought her a toy. The child held up the toy towards the top of her crib rail. I asked her if she was going to share her toy with me and to her surprise she dropped it into my hands! I gave it back to her and a game began between her and I. The game quickly turned into the all too familiar game of drop-it, pick it up that all parents of toddlers are familiar with. I spent the next half hour playing pick up with this precious girl. One of the best half hours I have ever spent.

Why do I spend so much time on these stories? Because God is so good! In  the midst of a brief period of suffering experienced by those currently on the campus here, our perspective is not inward. Our desire is to get better for the purpose of getting out into Antigua with the good news of Jesus Christ with the perspective of rejoicing in these light and momentary troubles for the sake of knowing Christ more! One day spent in bed is difficult for me being a person who doesn't stop going for much. But after visiting the precious people that live in the local hospital here, I will not complain and I will not focus on the time lost, because my idea of time means nothing to the great God I serve. The fact that our second trip to the hospital was cancelled due to the illness that plagued us is no surprise for our God. He is in control and he is sovereign. He is on the throne.

If it had not been the Lord who was on our side...

We might not understand why the sickness plagued us but if it had not been the Lord on our side...who knows what other worse thing could have swept through the center.

If it had not been the Lord who was on our side...
We would not have had the hope of Tuesday and all the ways the Lord blessed us through those precious people to carry us through the illness of Wednesday and Thursday.

Blessed be the Lord who is our help. He has made heaven and earth. We who trust in him are like Mount Zion...we cannot be moved...

So, to end this post...

Please keep on praying for us here at the PFM center in Antigua. Pray for the mission team that is here. We are hoping to do an outreach in the center of Antigua and different areas around the city tomorrow afternoon. Our hope is to bring the light of Jesus Christ into this city who is currently in the midst of a pagan celebration this week. Please pray for the light of Christ to go forth boldly tomorrow and the message of His life saving gospel to break down idols, strongholds, and demonic forces that currently enslave and hold so many captive.

Pray that those of us living here will press on through the spiritual attacks, raise our shields to the fiery darts that come at us, and let nothing move us as we continue on in firm in the Word of God bringing His good news to the lost of Antigua.

PS: It is not possible to take any pictures inside the hospital. So please forgive us for not having any. Thanks for your understanding.

November 2013 Prayer Letter

Please join us this month as we thank God for His sovereign plans for our lives. We are living a life we never would have dreamed possible. Daily we watch Him work out things that are so far beyond what we ever could have imagined, dreamed, or hoped for. We are so thankful for His work in our lives. We are thankful for all of you  who faithfully partner with our family through prayer and through giving. We also thank all of you who partner with Potter's Field Ministries! Your partnership is truly allowing lives to be transformed  and we can testify as witnesses to that here in Antigua, Guatemala!

In the presence of the faultless

One important part of IGNITE intern training phase is learning the Inductive Bible Study method. One class that Matt and I oversee is one where the interns are able to put into practice and actually apply what they learned about how to study the Bible inductively. It is one of my favorite parts of their training because it where they share what the Lord is teaching them through His word. The purpose is to simply to learn something new and add wisdom to their belts. The point is more that they learn a way to study God's Holy Word in a way that allows them to utilize the power of the Holy Spirit living inside of them to discover the treasure that God's word is in their lives.

Learning to study the Bible in a way that allows me to observe, interpret and apply has completely change the effect God's Word has in my life. I now make it a part of my own personal devotions to study the Word this way and then use that study time find practical ways to apply it to my daily life. 

Some time ago, we committed to keeping this a part of the interns lives while they were on the field. We have continued this with the current interns serving here in Guatemala. We meet with the interns weekly to share what God is teaching them and we also meet as a team each day Monday through Friday and each of our team members takes a turn sharing in an inductive way.

This morning the Lord allowed for me to share and I've posted it below with the prayer that the Lord might speak to you from His word as He has done with me.

Jude 1:24-25 "Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, And to present you faultless Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to God our Savior, who alone is wise, Be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever more. Amen."

The more I walk with the Lord and the longer I am in ministry I see three things happening...

1. I am more aware than ever before of my complete inadequacy to do anything the Lord calls me to do...and more often than not, the very thing he lays out before me in the place he has called me to be is so much more beyond than what I am capable of that the only explanation for any success at all is because the Lord is in it

       2. I  recognize the intense spiritual battle that rages on around us and feel the darts the 
           enemy throws, the oppression, the attacks, the demonic powers fighting hard to 
           knock me out of the race...and I must choose daily to purpose in my heart to press 
           on through it all and to not be moved by anything...

      3. Above all God is in control! 

These verses in Jude teach me that even when I am totally inadequate for what the Lord calls me to do, it is He who will will equip me and ultimately present me faultless before himself with exceeding joy, the verse says. 

For most of my life I have lived in the dark shadows of condemnation. Most of my life was spent trying to please people in authority over me. There are specific times in my those in authority over me or those I trusted took advantage of my willingness to please them and exploited it. This in turn made me feel shameful, unworthy, and unloved. I coped by stuffing all the pain, hurt, and shame deep down in a dark corner of my heart. As I grew older, all of that shame, pain, hurt, and unexplained emotion turned to bitterness and anger. The coping mechanism I had adopted really had not helped me at all. It had only served to temporarily put off dealing with the root of the bitterness that had grown in my heart and had begun to defile it. 

"Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled." Hebrews 12:15

It was only about a year and a half ago that I learned the truth of this verse and applied it to my life. The Lord used this verse to show me the sin that I had hidden deep in my heart for far too many years. He also showed me that my own sin had not only left its effect on my life but also on all those around me. And finally the Lord taught me that I must always be alert and ask him to give me eyes to see what truly exists in my heart that I might not fall back into sin.

So back to the verse in Jude: I know and believe that it is because of God's mercy and grace that I might be found faultless before him, but only by his grace. I am no longer under condemnation, but I live daily in His presence. 

Because I live in His presence, I know that even when I am inadequate and even when the battle rages all around me and I am tempted to walk in my flesh and not in His Spirit,  He is with me. The first part of Jude 24 says 'now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling...' 

The Lord in His grace has chosen to use me in His perfect plan in ways I could never have imagined. He continues to place me in places where the responsibility is great. I will never understand his choice, knowing me and my wicked heart. 

But I know that He is Sovereign. I also know that He will keep me standing firm in Him when I remain in Him, am filled with His Spirit, and when I choose to love. (Vs 20-21 Jude)
I also believe the promise The Lord gives us in 1 Corinthians 10:13: 

"no temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make a way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."

We always have a choice not to sin. The enemy will try everything he can to tempt us to sin. His purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. But we know that Jesus' purpose is to bring abundant life to those who love Him. We can only experience that abundant life when we live life abiding in Him. For every opportunity we encounter to sin, God gives us the opportunity to choose to abide in him and not sin. He keeps us from stumbling. He provides a way out. 

So when I feel weak, when I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders, when I feel the sting of the flaming darts the enemy is throwing at me and at those around me;  in those moments I must choose God's way out. I must not choose not my flesh which leads to sin, but instead choose the way that leads to li...abundant life...and remember that in Him I stand firm and will not stumble.

These verses encouraged me this morning as I pondered the power of Christ in me...

Daniel 1:8 "but Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself... " 

Psalm 121:3 "he will not allow your foot to be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber"

1 Samuel 2:9 "he will guard the feet of his saints"

And then finally in Jude 25 the Lord teaches me that in all of this, He is in control. He is our Savior. He alone is wise. Glory and majesty are Hs alone. He is in control - dominion and power are Hs alone, in this present age and forever. 

I do not need to worry...and over time, I am learning to trust the Lord with every bit of my life. I used to worry about and plan and prepare for the 'what if's' of life. I am letting go of that sin and trusting that God is God and I am not. Wisdom, power and glory are His alone. Everything I know I cannot do, He can and will accomplish. Everything I do not understand, He does. Even the little things...

Just the other day I felt overwhelmed and I specifically prayed that the Lord would hide me under His wings that day. In my daily reading I read the following. He cares for us. He chooses us knowing fully well that we are not capable. He knows the battle raging around us and even if we feel overwhelmed by it, he does not because all power and dominion are His. He has the victory...and so do we! He is in control!

Psalm 91:1-16

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

Praise God today for His wisdom, power and dominion, glory, and majesty!

September Prayer Letter

Below is our September Prayer Letter. We are trying a new format this month. We hope you like it! We'd love to hear your feedback!

Peace and Grace,

Matt and Brooke :)

August Prayer Letter

July 2013 Prayer Letter

Antigua Week One

Well, we've passed our one week mark and we are still living! Haha. Praise the Lord He has blessed us with the continued gift of speaking Spanish. It is so amazing to me sometimes that I can actually communicate in a second language. I honestly don't know how it happens- it truly is totally and completely from the Lord! We serve such a big God and we are so thankful for the blessings He has freely given us.

We've spent several days house-hunting. It is quite the process, as you might imagine. Because Antigua is a tourist town, rent prices are crazy expensive...and because we are looking for a three bedroom furnished home,  the price seems to go up even more. A super sweet new friend from the church is helping us and looking for us, which is nice. The other day, I was anxious, as the possibilities seem to be dwindling and I admittedly was in a moment of faltered faith. I poured out my heart  to the Lord in the morning, before I even opened my Bible. In moments, I felt the Lord's sweet presence and peace fill me afresh and I asked the Lord to teach me through His word and opened my Bible and began to read. I have been reading through the One Year Bible for over a year now and each new day is a blessing. In a way that only the Lord can do through His word, each day the separate sections from the Old Testament, New Testament and Psalms and Proverbs seem to weave themselves together. Despite being about seemingly very different themes, the Lord uses them each to speak to me and meet me right where I am that day.

I read Acts 17 and was blown away by what I read about Paul being in Athens. He had been walking around the city, observing the people and customs and sights. He became deeply distressed as he discovered how full of idols the city was. This immediately made me think about the city I now call home, and how totalmente llena (completely full) of idols it is. So much of the Mayan culture remains and you'll find the religion's idols in restaurants, houses we look at renting, and even on t-shirts sold at the local stores, updated for the 21st century. This has caused an inexpressible burden in my heart for the lost in this city. What do you do with a burden like that?

Paul used the feelings of distress he felt at what he saw all around him to speak louder than before about Jesus to the Jews and the Gentiles. Some believed in Jesus, others mocked him. At a meeting of the top men of Athens, who were known for their idle speech and love of doing much of nothing, confronted Paul about the things he was teaching the people. Paul, in turn, confronts these men of Athens with their religiosity and false gods. He proclaims to  them the truth about the One True God and begins to profess God's power, majesty, personal call to all mankind. In the midst of Paul's speech to the Athenians, there is one little line that was clearly the Lord's way of speaking to me in answer to my call to Him about our housing situation.

"...he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live." Acts 17:26b

If our God is not personal, if our God does not hear our cry, if our God has not given us His word and His Holy Spirit to Comfort us at all times...then how could I have read that scripture just after having cried out to the Lord and given Him the weight of finding a home for our family?

I love the way we as children of God have the privilege of growing in Him. We do not become perfect at the moment of salvation, yet we are sanctified as we live life with Jesus day in and day out. I love that as I hunger and thirst more and more for Jesus, He nourishes me, meets the needs of my hungry soul and thirsty heart, and I grow...I become more and more of who He created me to be.

As I continued worshipping God and learning from Him, a man who will be helping with the upkeep of the property for the next several months, called over to me to tell me the volcano was erupting...

Yes, that's right...the volcano was erupting. That's one I'd ever heard before....hahaha

You see, Antigua is quite unique in that there are several volcanoes in the area. Three are visible from the PFM center. Two of the most prominent are called Agua (Water) and Fuego (Fire). Agua is dormant, which means it no longer erupts. Fuego, ironically, is active and often spouts out little lava balls and is seen with dark smoke clouds billowing out from the top.

I am so impressed by these two volcanoes sitting quite literally in our backyard. We walk out the side door of the center and there they are, standing strong and tall! I've been pondering their names this past week. I've been chided before for drawing too much spiritual connections from the world around me, and I always ask, 'How can I not grasp more from my Creator from His Creation?' These two volcanoes, Agua and Fuego, remind me daily of our need for the Living Water only Jesus can offer. As we adjust to life in Antigua, I must go to the well daily. I must draw water from the well, whether early morning, heat of the day, or evening...

I.need.Jesus.

And, He meets me. Every day. Every moment. He meets me and fills me and His Living Water flows out of me in ways that make me stop afterwards and ask, "Where did that come from?"

The sides of Agua are covered with lush vegetation, rich green bushes and trees, abundant life.

Fuego, on the other hand, is dark and charred and barren and just plain ugly. Fuego erupts and spills out the burning lava and fire and smoke and all life is seemingly gone. Yet, that cannot be, since inside life is happening. The insides of Fuego move and shift and cause pressure and eventually the pressure can no longer be held and an eruption happens.

In my life, there were so many years where my own personal internal fuego erupted day after day and left me charred, black, hot-tempered, and lifeless...It seemed that nothing could bring the abundant life I could over on Agua...in others who seemed to be living the same life as me. Yet, day after day, year after  year, I found myself left blackened and barren, without joy; while I saw others go live joyful, abundant lives. I never could understand why...

And then, one day the Lord revealed to me the need for Fuego in my life. Living in Guanacaste, Costa Rice, I learned an important lesson about farming and preparing fields. In order to rid a field of last years crop, weeds, or just to prepare it for what is next, a farmer will burn the field. Quite literally, an entire field will be set on fire and allowed to burn in order to clean it and prepare it. The farmer watches the fire, allows it to burn in a slow and controlled way. The farmer never leaves the field. He watches as the fire moves across, catches up the dry,useless grass, and burns it away. And after the field has burned and the fire has died out, the field is left charred, blackened, and seemingly, lifeless.

Just like Fuego.

Just lie I felt for so many years.

But the Farmer never left me. Life never left me. I just needed to have what was useless in my life burned away in order to prepare me for what was next.

Fuego and Agua sit virtually right next to each other. Life-giving water next to life-destroying fire.

Or maybe not.

I can draw so many parallels from the relationship  potter has with His clay here as well. As I understand more about the relationship between a potter and the clay, I learn more about my great God and me. He is the Potter and we are clay in His hands. Recently, while in Montana I learned about the process of taking a lump of clay, adding life-giving water to it, setting it on the wheel, molding it, shaping it, and then putting it in the fire. The fire must be excruciatingly hot, yet not too hot, or the pot could explode. The fire refines and gives life in a way water never could. Once the pot has been through the fire, and it comes out of the kiln, the potter looks satisfied at his creation and sees exactly what he had intended when he started out with just water and the clay. He had watched as the pot took shape. He had watched as the pot began to form and even looked wonderful and beautiful at different times. Yet, all along the potter had one specific piece in his mind. A unique piece only he could create, with his fingerprints all over it. All along, knowing in order to become exactly what he was hoping for, the pot would have to go through the fire in the kiln. The potter knew all long that the fire would get so hot the pot would almost bust...but because the potter knew every intricate part of the piece, he also knew that the piece could withstand the fire. The potter also knew that once through the fire, the piece would be simple remarkable.

I was able to understand this and actually see this process through the eyes of Pastor Mike, who founded Potter's Field Ministries, and himself is a potter. It is amazing how hot the fire in a kiln gets. What is even more amazing is what comes out of the kiln after being in that fire.

I am so thankful for the life-giving water Jesus gives me daily. I am also equally thankful for the fire in my life. At one point I thought all fire could do was destroy. Yet now I see things from a different perspective. I've been through fire and while it did leave me charred and burned and blackened for a time...like the fields of Guanacaste, I was only being prepared for what was next. I've been given life. I've been called to use that life to bring glory to the One who gave me life. I have the choice to allow life and it's burdens chain me down and hold me captive or I can give them to Jesus and stand firm in the freedom he has given me from those very burdens. Paul chose to walk in freedom and he also chose to live his life always speaking louder everywhere he went to bring glory to the name of Jesus. That is the upward call of Christ I choose to live for each day...

I've gone through certain things this first week in Antigua that I know without a doubt that had it not been for the fire God allowed in my life that changed me and prepared me and cleansed me and purified me...I would not have walked through them the way I did.

Joe, the handyman, called me over to see Fuego erupting and as I walked over to where he stood, I was amazed. I had never seen anything like the thick, black smoke billowing out from the top of Fuego's crater. It was so impressive.

Volcan Agua

Volcan Fuego erupting

"Praise be to the Lord my Rock who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold, my deliverer, my whiled, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me. O, LORD, what is man that you care for him, the son of man that you think of him? Man is like a breath; his days are a fleeting shadow. Part your heavens, O LORD, and come down; touch the mountains so they smoke. Send forth lightening and scatter the enemies; shoot your arrows and rout them. Reach down your hand from on high; deliver me and rescue me from the mighty waters, from the hands of foreigners whose mouths are full of lies, whose right hands are deceitful.

I will sing a new song to you, O God...

Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughter will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace...Blessed are the people of whom this is true; blessed are the people whose God is the LORD." Pslam 144:1-15

Speaking Louder 'Til the Whole World Hears

First days in Guatemala

We arrived in Guatemala City, Guatemala late Tuesday night after a long day of travel. We left Potter's Field Ranch in Montana at 5:00 am and headed to the Kalispell airport. All went well, there during check-in, although it took us over an hour to check in with our 11 suitcases to check and one carry-on we had to check because of its size. We were quite the spectacle, but we usually are. We are so thankful that Pastor Jim and Patti went with us to help out with the kids while we checked in.

We flew to Salt Lake City first and had an easy, enjoyable flight and then took off for Atlanta a little late, but nevertheless on our way. While in the airport in ATL, our hearts began eating a little bit faster as we began hearing Spanish and seeing Guatemaltecos (Guatemalans) waiting for the plane to begin boarding. We noticed the difference in their accent right away and admittedly were a bit nervous about understanding everyone once we arrived.

We arrived a little late, but got through immigration without a hitch and got all of our bags. We were thrilled to see them all come off together, in tact! We headed to customs and the official did not even blink at eye at us and waved us right on through! PRAISE THE LORD!

We were so excited to see the three IGNITE interns currently serving in Antigua as we exited the airport and it was a very happy reunion as we all hugged right there in the middle of the walkway! :)

We got to the shuttle waiting for us and took off on the hour trek to Antigua. I was so surprised at how many similarities there are here to Costa Rica. It was fun seeing familiar things and we instantly began feeling a sense of comfort at that. We caught up t=with the girls as we traveled to Antigua and that was good. They told us everything they could think of about life here and then some!

We arrived at the center and in all honesty I felt like we were coming home! It was such an incredible feeling as we pulled in.

There is currently a mission team here right now as well as many members of the Calvary Chapel Guatemala City church and the pastor who will be overseeing the Bible College on our campus. He has just arrived with his family from Columbia and they are just settling in themselves. So the center is at full capacity and there is a lot of activity.

Wednesday, our first full day here, the mission team was holding a sports camp for the Potter's Field Kids. There were most likely 200 plus kids here! It was pretty crazy! Matt was in his element! HE loved it! Ethan has made fast friends with another MK here and they had a blast getting to know each other that day. Our girls and I were pretty wiped so we laid down in the afternoon, but went out later and they really had a great time.

Spanish for all of us has kicked in and I have no doubt it will not be long before our tongues don't feel so tied. The accent is different, as are some words, but for the most part it's all good.

We walked around town as a family in the morning Wednesday and it felt great to find our way around. We made it to the bank and got some money exchanged. That was a very typical process that took quite some time. While we were waiting, I was able to sit with the kids in the shade and observe the people as they were walking. I was happy to find I could pick up on most of the conversations happening around me.

We saw a few of the landmarks here in the city like La Merced church and the famous Arch used by the nuns long ago as a passage between the church and the monastery that allowed them to pass but not been seen.

We fell into bed exhausted and slept well.

Today has been a full, but good day. I was able to go out this morning with Karen, who is a  missionary here with her husband and children and are serving here with PFM. We hit it off and have a lot in common and it was good to go out with her.

I felt right at home as we started out to accomplish to main tasks- pay the cell phone bill and pick up lunch for the mission team. We were having a hard time finding a parking spot and then we saw a few main streets blocked off and then Karen remembered that the President of Guatemala was in the city today. There were police everywhere and so many people on the streets and traffic that we soon realized it was going to be impossible to find a parking spot anywhere close to the cell phone place or the restaurant. So we parked a good ten blocks away and took off walking. The restaurant was first stop and the order was placed and paid for with out incidence. Off to pay the cell phone. Quick and easy. Back to the restaurant to check on the order progress. Once it was done we realized our dilemma- three large boxes full of food to carry all the way back to the car...we made it a block and a half or so and realized the difficulty in the task so I waited on a corner with the food while Karen went to pick up the car.

I looked at it as another opportunity to observe people, culture, the way of life. I am learning a lot about the dress, the genuine friendliness of the people, and the massive amount of tourists there are here. I also sadly see the way most tourist interact with the locals.

After finally getting back with lunch a little late, I had a few moments to see the girls and Matt and Ethan and then I was off again with the team and the staff and interns to the mercado (market) to shop. They were mostly souvenir shopping and I really needed to get to the supermarket for a few things.

There was not really a way to have someone go with me who knew the way, so I got directions and took off with Ethan to find La Bodegona, which is something like a Super Kmart (not Walmart at all- think Big Lots and ALDI scrunched together in one store).

Ethan and I wandered through the store and found most of what was on our list and felt quite accomplished. We had the chance to talk on the way back and I cherish our times like that. HE opened up about how he is feeling about being here. He is still pretty exhausted, but he loves the life the Lord has given us to live. He already feels at home, even though he notices many differences here from anywhere we've ever been.

He loves the buildings and the cobblestone streets and the volcanoes we have all around us. He likes the climate, although it is a bit warmer than we thought that it would be. We walked hand-in-hand and talked and looked and observed. It was a blessed time for me. We made our way back, got a little lost, then realized we were actually right where we needed to be and found out way back.

After a little rest, we took off as a family to get dinner for the girls and I so we could eat and get to bed earlier tonight (they got to bed early, it is yet to be determined if I will).

We ordered from the taco place one of the former interns recommended to us and we were not disappointed! It was delicious and cheap!

I was also able to sort through the suitcases and pull out most of the clothes that we ned for the next couple of weeks. We hope to find a place before classes begin next month and so I do not want to totally unpack, yet need to pull some things out.

I found some of the girls books and got them out so they could read before bed. They were asleep within minutes of laying down!

There are so many emotions and observations happening. It is amazing that we are actually here and figuring out life already. We were so shell-shocked when we first moved to Costa Rica and it was a long adjustment period. This time it sure does not feel like that will be the case. We are tired and in a temporary living situation with a campus full of people we do not know, but God is faithful and good and His plan is perfect! We are blessed beyond what we can tell you to be here and to be offered the gift of living here. The pastor overseeing the Bible College and his wife are such a sweet couple and the wife and I have quickly bonded. They are from Columbia, but homeschool which is so cool! They are humble and laid back and we are so excited to get to know them more.

We ask you to continue praying as we move through this transition time. Please pray about our housing situation and for the Lord to direct our path to the perfect spot for our family. Please pray for the entire PFM staff. God is really moving here and his hand is upon the ministry, therefore, the attacks of the enemy have heated up and he will try anything to bring this place down. Please pray against his attacks and for protection from the team here as well as the children who are part of the ministry.

I haven't had my camera out yet...so I apologize for no pictures. But stayed tuned for some soon!

Adios!

Happy 13th Birthday, Ethan!

It seems like a lifetime ago now, the day you were born. I can remember so well the nights before you were born when your Dad and I would lay and watch my stomach move and roll. We'd laugh out loud as we recognized a hand or a foot move across my stomach. We knew God had created life inside of me, yet we know not whether you'd be 'Hannah Lucille' or 'Ethan Matthew.' We'd never had an ultrasound, so we had no image of what you looked like, only what we could imagine. the day you were born was a long, hard day for me...but as soon as that nurse put you into my arms the days events were forgotten and my heart was yours. You came to me and snuggled close, your crying stopped, and Ethan Matthew McClain became part of our family.

You bring us great joy, Ethan. You have always been a laid back 'tranquilo' little guy. You have always played independently and have used your imagination to create masterpieces. Yet, you have always loved to cuddle, hold hands, and just be close to us.

 

You've been a loving big brother since the moment you knew that God was giving us a 'little sissy.'

 

 

 

 

 

The ways you bless us are beyond what I can write in a letter, because they are so many. You bring us laughter and you remind us not to stress. You serve our family in so many ways that mean so much like cleaning, laundry, and mostly the way you listen and take the time to make sure we are all ok. You have made huge sacrifices in your life that most boys your age do not have to make like leaving your best friends and your pets, giving away favorite toys, and moving a lot! And you've made them all without complaining.

 

 

 

 

Yet all of these sacrifices have made you who you are today- an amazing young man that your dad and I are so very proud to call our son. You have grown up so much over the last few years...and especially the past year. As difficult as some of our moves have been, moving from Costa Rica was so hard for you. You so wanted a friend, and God gave you some really great friends like, Joel and Julian...and then we told you that we were moving...

 

 

But, even still, you rarely complained. You have taken on every turn and every change in plan like a mighty man of valor.

 

And Ethan, we love you for it!

 

You've have thrived here in Montana. We have loved seeing God grow you in your relationship with him, with us, with your sisters, and with other young men who love Jesus and want to live for him. We love you and are so thankful for you! I thank God for you, daily, Ethan!

 

As I see your love for Jesus grow, as you pray and lift your hands to Him, I treasure these things in my heart, just as Mary must have treasure what she saw in Jesus as He grew in the ways of His Father...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know you see your dad and I fail many times, but we hope that you see us go back to Jesus time and time again...and we pray that from that, you, too will seek Jesus in all you do and you will always go to Him, over and over and over. As much as we love you, Ethan, Jesus loves you more.

 

We love you, Bud!

 

Happy 13th Birthday!

 

 

Love,

Mom and Dad