If the Lord had not been on our side...

" 'If the Lord had not been on our side,'
Let Israel now say-
'If it had not been the Lord who was on our side,
When men rose up against us,
Then they would have swallowed us alive,
When their wrath was kindled against us;
Then the waters would have overwhelmed us,
The stream would have gone over our soul.'

Blessed be the Lord,
Who has not given us over to their teeth.
Our soul has escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowlers;
The snare is broken, and we have escaped.
Our help is in the name of the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth." Psalm 124:1-8

"Those who trust in the Lord
are like Mount Zion,
Which cannot be moved,
but abides forever." Psalm 125:1

If it had not been the Lord who was on our side...

This week would have been so much more devastating...

You see, this week most of the PFM campus was stricken with a horrible stomach virus. The virus knocked out most of the visiting mission team, most of the staff onsite, half of our interns, and most of the Bible college students. It kept every who got it in the bathroom with bouts of vomiting or in bed with horrible stomach cramps, chills, fever, body aches, and headaches.

However,

'If it had not been the Lord who was on our side...'

You see, even though this sickness that spread through the campus was rough, inconvenient, and forced us to cancel ministry opportunities we had planned with the team...but we also recognize that this illness is part of a spiritual battle that rages all around us that we cannot see, but can most certainly feel, especially at times like this when it seems aimed right at this center.

Tuesday we had one of the most amazing opportunities to serve what one might consider some of the least of these, but whom surely are some of the most highly esteemed in the Lord's eyes. Here in Antigua, there is a hospital called Hermano Pedro (Brother Peter) that is home for 240 some patients, most of whom are physically disabled in some way; many who have some form of mental incapacity; ALL need the love of Jesus in a real and tangible way.

A little over a month ago, we found out about this hospital and even met some of the young boys who live there while sharing the gospel and passing out Bibles in Antigua one afternoon. We met a group who serve in another ministry near Antigua who were visiting with some of the patients and were on a walk with them. We shared the gospel with each of the young boy patients and gave each one of them a Bible. We exchanged information with the assistant director of that ministry that day and later contacted him through email but never heard anything back from him. A few weeks ago, we visited the hospital to find out more information about how we might be able to serve the patients that live there. We were then given information for the person in charge of volunteers and told to contact her. I contacted her a few days later and set up an appointment for a tour of the hospital and time to be able to ask questions and discuss what opportunities existed for us to serve there.

The next day, Matt and I and our kids, along with all six interns went to visit the hospital and take the tour. What took place that day was a true work of the Lord. On many levels, being there was very difficult for some in our group. On many levels, being there was so encouraging and so overwhelming.  But overall, the time spent there that day was proof of God opening the door for more time to be spent there.

After the tour that day, I set up two more times for us to come and serve with Pastor D's team. The plan was that we would come and help serve dinner one day and then lunch the other day. We could also bring bubbles, a guitar, and balloons to make balloon animals if we desired.

Our interns were so impacted by that visit that they asked and pleaded that we go back on Friday, which was to be there only day off of the week. We were blown away at the intensity of their request to go back. We decided that we would wait upon the Lord and not rush into something out of emotion or our desire but wait to see what He had planned for us and future ministry there.

It did not work out for us to go that Friday and we could all see that the Lord's hand was upon that.

But almost all of us were eagerly anticipating going again on Tuesday. We briefed the team about the hospital, the patients, and about expectations for the afternoon before leaving. We bathed the whole outing in prayer and entered the hospital. Once there, there was an unmistakeable energy flowing through us. We did not really now what to expect as this was the first ministry opportunity we had had here. But when we met up with our contact, she informed us that there was a hospital wide activity for all the patients and we were welcome to participate in it if we liked. We could play the guitar, sing, do balloon animals and anything else we had planned as well. So, we joined in to help with the activity. Our first task was to help bring patients from their rooms to the area of the activity. Some took off to help bring the adult men while others took off to bring the children. Some stayed to entertain the patients who were already arriving. I went with some of the students to the children's wing.

This is by far the most visited wing in the hospital. It is no wonder why. It is heartbreaking to see children who for the most part have been abandoned and left in this hospital. So many of the volunteers who come and serve in the hospital spend most of their time with the children. But equally as heartbreaking are the other areas of the hospital where the adult men, adult women, and young adults live. These patients get the least amount of visitors, but they are desperate for attention. The hospital is run completely by donations from charitable organizations, humanitarian groups, and religious organizations. There is a paid staff of nurses for each wing, maintenance and cleaning staff, as well as administrative staff. But all doctors are strictly volunteers- and throughout the year there are different doctors who come and donate all of their time, medicine, and equipment to perform surgeries on the patients. It is truly remarkable. The hospital is a Catholic hospital. Hermano Pedro is believed to be a saint and highly worshipped in Antigua. One of the main churches here has his body embalmed in a tomb and people come from all over to pay homage to him and to pray to him. Because of the Catholic influence, we feel the Lord opening the door to bring the light of Christ into the hospital. We can do nothing else for them except share Jesus with them.

The staff of the hospital truly have a heart and a calling for what they do. Our tour guide and liaison stopped in every wing to talk with the patients, call them by name, or to just give them a few minutes of her time and affection. The nurses are business like, but once you begin to be around them and talk with them you see their hearts are really loving to the patients. Most of them have worked their for over 10 years.

So, once in the children's wing, we began to transport patients from the wing to the activity area. Once we had transported all who were able to go, I went back to gather up those who remained with the patients. One of our interns begged me to let her stay with her new friend. One of the team members also wanted to stay for awhile longer. I asked the nurse if we were allowed to remain with the children who were still in their beds and she gave us permission. So I stayed with those who asked to stay. I walked around and visited with the few who were awake. Most were napping. One little boy who had captured my heart the first time we were there was crying as he was being fed his bottle. He is around 5, but has the body of a three year old. He does not speak or walk, but has good strength in his upper body and arms. He was born out of his mother being raped when she was just a teenager. She tried to care for him for a time, but his medical needs were too demanding for her to maintain and she ultimately turned him over to the care of the hospital. I walked over to his bed and began rubbing his feet and legs while the nurse fed him. I began a conversation with the nurse to find out more about him. After she had fed him and lifted up the bar on his bed, I stayed at his side. He pulled himself up to a sitting position and reached for me and grabbed my hand into his and held on. I had to catch my breath as I was not expecting that he would do this. One of our interns had already asked me specifically about seeing this little boy that day, and since he was now calm and very alert I asked the nurse if I go bring a friend back to visit with the little boy. She said yes, but caught me off guard by saying to me, "Now you know he cannot hold him." I assured her that my friend just wanted to visit with the little boy and that he understood that he could not hold him.

I went to get our intern and walked back with him and took him to the little boy. As we arrived at his bed, the little boy greeted our intern the same way he had greeted me. I had to catch my breath again. I began talking with the nurse again as she was now feeding the child behind the bed of the little boy. She reminded me that my friend could not hold the little boy. She said that the children loved to be held, but that they cry for so long afterwards that it makes it so difficult on them (the children). I asked her if they ever get held. She paused before she answered and said that it is not because they do not want to hold them, but more because there are so many of the children and so little of the nurses. There just are not enough of them to go around. She said the little boy in particular would cry all night long if he was held. She paused again. Not long after that comment, she looked at me and asked, 'Does your friend want to hold the boy?' I said, 'Really?' She said 'Yes.' I asked our intern and he could only nod his head yes. Having heard the whole conversation I am sure that he was just as surprised as I was to hear her give him permission to hold the child.

The nurse unlatched the crib rail and allowed our intern to pick up the child. For the next hour or so, he walked and held the child. I watched the two of them from time to time and what I saw would melt any mother's heart. To see the child lean his head upon the shoulder of this young man, curl up against his chest, and lean into him was nothing short of a God-blessing. I watched the nursing staff as well. I watched them take in the scene and listened to their comments. I saw their surprise at how patient and loving and caring this young man was with this little child. I watched them as they watched our intern try various times to set the child in his crib, only for the child to being crying again. So our student would pick up the child again, comfort him and begin walking around the room with him again. Finally, the child was comfortable enough to sit down in his crib and our intern began to play a game with him. Three short taps of his finger and wait...do it again...three short taps of his finger and wait. over time the chid began to repeat the three short taps with his own finger. Our intern called me over to watch. Like all kids do when their loved ones want them to 'perform' this child was no different and seemed to get 'stage fright' when I came over to watch. I tried to coax him to mimic our intern. And he finally did. I encouraged him, snuggled him, and then watched and giggled as he did it again. The faint traces of a smile skimmed across his otherwise solemn face. His eyes made direct contact with mine every time I praised him. I watched the nurses as we rejoiced with this precious little child.

By this time other children were beginning to wake up. I walked over to the crib of one of the older girls in the children's wing. At first she was completely unresponsive to my attempts to communicate with her. Until one of the nurses brought her a toy. The child held up the toy towards the top of her crib rail. I asked her if she was going to share her toy with me and to her surprise she dropped it into my hands! I gave it back to her and a game began between her and I. The game quickly turned into the all too familiar game of drop-it, pick it up that all parents of toddlers are familiar with. I spent the next half hour playing pick up with this precious girl. One of the best half hours I have ever spent.

Why do I spend so much time on these stories? Because God is so good! In  the midst of a brief period of suffering experienced by those currently on the campus here, our perspective is not inward. Our desire is to get better for the purpose of getting out into Antigua with the good news of Jesus Christ with the perspective of rejoicing in these light and momentary troubles for the sake of knowing Christ more! One day spent in bed is difficult for me being a person who doesn't stop going for much. But after visiting the precious people that live in the local hospital here, I will not complain and I will not focus on the time lost, because my idea of time means nothing to the great God I serve. The fact that our second trip to the hospital was cancelled due to the illness that plagued us is no surprise for our God. He is in control and he is sovereign. He is on the throne.

If it had not been the Lord who was on our side...

We might not understand why the sickness plagued us but if it had not been the Lord on our side...who knows what other worse thing could have swept through the center.

If it had not been the Lord who was on our side...
We would not have had the hope of Tuesday and all the ways the Lord blessed us through those precious people to carry us through the illness of Wednesday and Thursday.

Blessed be the Lord who is our help. He has made heaven and earth. We who trust in him are like Mount Zion...we cannot be moved...

So, to end this post...

Please keep on praying for us here at the PFM center in Antigua. Pray for the mission team that is here. We are hoping to do an outreach in the center of Antigua and different areas around the city tomorrow afternoon. Our hope is to bring the light of Jesus Christ into this city who is currently in the midst of a pagan celebration this week. Please pray for the light of Christ to go forth boldly tomorrow and the message of His life saving gospel to break down idols, strongholds, and demonic forces that currently enslave and hold so many captive.

Pray that those of us living here will press on through the spiritual attacks, raise our shields to the fiery darts that come at us, and let nothing move us as we continue on in firm in the Word of God bringing His good news to the lost of Antigua.

PS: It is not possible to take any pictures inside the hospital. So please forgive us for not having any. Thanks for your understanding.