To be empty...

Isaiah 58:10-12

What does it mean to be empty?

We, in the North American culture do not like things to be empty. We like our bulk stores, our full cabinets, our stocked refrigerators, bank acounts with multiple digits in the total line...

We have a hard time with empty.

Do we really know what it means to be empty, I wonder?

Have we ever felt the pressure of spending our last cent on a few groceries to feed our family, not knowing when the next meal would be or from where the money would come to buy it?

Have we ever opened all our cabinets, the refrigerator, and seen nothing?

Have we ever been as the widow and her son, with only a little flour and oil...?

Have our bellies ever been distended so from days on end of eating nothing?

The first section of Isaiah 58 talks about fasting and what true fasting is and is not.

When I have fasted for a time, my physical body becomes weak. I become tired and often irritable. I crave food- crave for it to fill me and give me strength. Fasting empties me of the food that sustains me, the nutrients that give me energy to go through the day.

Fasting is not and should never be as the hypocrites in the first part of chapter 58, who fast to be noticed by others and by God. They 'fast' as a work, trying to earn their favor with the Lord.

The Lord, however, makes it perfectly clear that this is not what He desires nor sees as a fast.

This type of fast is weak and futil. It brings with it nothing of power, it is by name only.

True fasting is powerful, useful and freeing (Isaiah 58:6).

True fasting comes about when a person has completely emptied themselves and seeks to filled by the Holy Spirit.

When I feel empty, out of energy, just plain sapped...I generally think- "I've got to do something to get some energy!" I look for a Coke or to excerise or something...

The past few weeks, I've been pretty much lacking energy for a variety of reasons. I've often wondered why my tank feels so emtpy...

Then, the Lord, in His rich mercy and grace, gave me these verses:

"If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday.

And the LORD will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in." Isaiah 58:10-12

Sometimes I wonder if all of our efforts make much difference at all. Sometimes I wonder why we don't see more fruit. Sometimes I wonder why we feel so much opposition in the work the Lord has given us here.

Sometimes I just wonder if it is all worth it...

Monday was a pretty much horrible night in terms of the behavior of the kids in PFK. It was the large group's week (we have group 1 that has 19 mainly older kids - mostly ages 10 - 13, and then group 2 with 13 kids mainly 7-9 years old. These groups alternate every other week).

The larger group, although older, is made up of kids who have some major behavioral issues and pretty crappy homes. Many are Nicaraguan immigrants, almost all here illegally.

We've seen major changes in some of their behavior issues since we started ministering to them over a year ago. However, they do act up and we have discipline issues with them frequently.

Monday was the breaking point, though. I'm not sure what exactly lead up to the breaking point- what one specific thing was the straw that broke the camel's back- but they pushed us to the limit.

Helyi spoke to them first. (Helyi "L-G" is our newest staff member) She addressed the issues and gave them a good 'talking to.' The issues continued.

- About two weeks ago, I wrote in my journal asking the Lord to demonstrate himself to the kids through me. That I would have patience and that His light would shine through me even when they were at their worst. I didn't remember that Monday night, but have since went back and read that prayer.-

When it was time for me to present the lesson, we decided that I would present it to them as a group- one time, instead of the normal procedure of splitting them up into two smaller groups and presenting the lesson twice, once to each group. I was not feeling well and didn't think I could do the lesson twice.

I made them arrange their chairs basically filling up the sanctuary- something we've never done before- all spread out so they were not able to talk with anyone else.

Then I began to talk, but I believe the Spirt took over. I shared with them the privilege they each have of being part of a ministry thats sole desire is that they come to an understanding of who Jesus is, what He did for them personally, and how to go about living a life for Him. I reminded them of the people who pray daily for each one of them by name. And, as I began to share about how we each love them and care for them and so desire to see them each walking with the Lord, I began to shed tears.

You could have heard a pin drop. Not a sound was made. Every eye was one me, except maybe for little Gustavo, who was still throwing and messing with the rocks.

The point of this story is that on Monday night, I was so completely empty. I was so just done with it all. What was the point, after all, if these kids who we pray for, weep for, pour into, could care so little that they behave as they had that night?

Well, the Lord has gently reminded me, the point is that He wants to shine through me and be glorified in their lives.

And HE WILL!

I believe it!

He is faithful and His mercy is eternal!

When I looked back at my journal and studied these verses from Isaiah I realized that I don't have a choice whether or not I give up my life. It is not mine to keep to myself. I was bought with such a high price, I am nothing and have nothing to call my own, not even my life. Therefore, why or how could I even consider not pouring myself out to the point of empty for these kids who have no one else doing so for them.

(Not to say we put up with the not obeying but that is a whole other story...)

When I empty myself in service to the poor, broken, bound, hungry to the point where there is nothing left to give, then God in His great love and mercy and grace, fills us to the pont of a fountain whose flow never cease. His light shines through us to break the darkness and fill the afflicted, thirsty soul- even my own!

When my energy is at it's lowest, it is He who refuels me and gives me the strength to keep on doing the good to which I've been called.

He gives us the promise that He will hear us and respond to us when we call out to him in our weak, empty state and He will guide and cover us.

The Lord used these verses, which in God's own special cool way, are the primary verse of the Potter's Field Ministry, to encourage me and strengthen me this week. He has reminded me of the beautiful vision He gave us two years ago of this little village being a strong and mighty fortress for Him. Little did we know the work He had for us here, nor the pain and heartache, stress, pressure that would be to come. Yet, He goes before us and comes up behind us, guiding us and filling us.

In obedience to Him, we move forward in faith, not focusing only what we see, but instead remembering that we do not see what God sees. He can see ahead and knows the fruit that is to come. He knows the depth of the seeds we are planting and He is the One who is making them grow.

I am so thankful for these verses this week. I am so thankful for the reminder that He is the One who restores and rebuilds what was once broken.

"And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in. " vs 12

I love that this verse says "you shall raise up the foundations of many generations" as this is exactly what the Lord laid upon our hearts when he gave us the Answers in Genesis curriculum we have been teaching through. To build the foundations in this generation. They have been laid a very weak foundation. What a beautiful picture of of the power and strength of our Great God!

People from all nations and every tongue praising Him We praise You Jesus!

You are faithful,Lord!!!