Being Dependant

Hi! Sorry for the delay in posts. It has been busy around here lately. Last week, we were visited by our boss from CLF, Jack and also a youth pastor named Will. Will and another pastor from his church are leading a medical team in November and came to stay for a few days. It was great to see Jack again and fun for him to get to meet our kids. Will was fun to pick on- and we enjoyed getting to know him. They were here from Wednesday to Friday. We look forward to the team in November. On Thursday, the "new guy" on our team arrived. Meg and I picked him up at the airport and it was good to finally meet him. That night, Jack, Will, Mark, Meg, Mariana and Valeria, Alex, Alejandria, and even Melinda and Noami, came to eat supper at our apartment. What a great time of fellowship! How blessed we are that the Lord has blessed us with a small, but cozy, yet also very functional home that we can use to serve those we love. Alex seems to fit into the mix well, with the team and our family. As you can imagine, Ethan is thrilled to have a guy to hang out with and tell stories about his Legos and Bionicles and movies and that sort of thing! But Alex is also able to hang out and relate to our girls as well. He does a great imitaion of Sponge Bob's laugh, too :) And, joining our team for the week, is a kind and compassionate woman named Cindy from New York. She has visited and served in the ministry before and shares our love for the people of Los Guido and Tejarcillos. It is a joy getting to know her.

All this activity, along with - what's that other thing we've got going on right now...oh yeah...SCHOOL!!!!! Yes, that...you know, actually, school is going pretty well at the moment. I was pretty stressed about the exams and quizzes I had last week, but my scores showed that language retention is actually a very real tangible goal that I seem to be reaching!! Praise the Lord! It is only by the Lord's grace and mercy and through His strength that I can say that I am learning this language. I definitely don't have it in me to stick this out, but, thankfully, HE does. Thankfully, I have complete assurance that His purpose is to be glorified through my life and through me and at this moment - that means also through me learning to speak Spanish.

It is such a joy watching God work in Ethan as well. He is learning to read and write and spell AND speak Spanish AND seems totally adjusted to this new life God has given us. He is his same calm and laid back self and he has made some great friends at school. But, he really is getting a grasp on the language as well and he isn't afraid to try to speak- which I love to see! He and Elvis continue to grow in their friendship- what an amazing relationship to watch grow!

Well, it is necessary for me to catch up a little before I get to the point of today's post.

BEING DEPENDANT

Today in chapel, a man named Danny spoke about being dependant. Most of what I say next comes from his sermon today, but some things are my own personal thoughts as well. I'll try to quote him when necessary so as not to plagiarize...(is that how you spell that?)

Danny talked about how we, in America, are taught from a very young age to be independent. Our parents teach us things that allow us to gradually get closer to the day when we will "leave the nest" so to speak. We strive to become successful, therefore, independent. As Danny said, the most obvious way we try to do this as Americans is to become financially independent- therefore not being dependant on any one person or organization.

As Christians, this is somewhat paradoxical for us to grasp. Here we are, trying to do all these things to become independent and yet we are called by Christ to be DEPENDANT on Him. As a wife and mother of three small children, I find myself wobbling between these two sides of the scale often. I desperately desire to become so transparent and dependant on Christ, yet at the same time it seems that I must be strong and independent for my spouse and children. After all, they need me to be strong and keep things going, right? I need to try to be Supermom and independently do-it-all, right? WRONG, sister! Why do I constantly fall into this trap set by the enemy? My husband, no matter what it seems like to me, does NOT expect, nor desire for me to be perfect or do it all, but I continue to listen to this lie and it continues to cause problems for me.

One of my favorite scriptures is in John chapter 15 where we are are given such a beautiful picture of how very DEPENDANT we are on our Creator.

Jesus says, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful...Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine and you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit, apart form me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the firs and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love..."

What a picture Jesus gives us of how our relationship with Him should be. A branch is dependant on the vine for the life-giving water the vine carries to it. Much like Jesus Christ is the Living Water that quenches the eternal thirst we have without drinking from His cup. But Jesus lays it out in these passages. We can bear no fruit: NUNCA! NADA! NINGUNA! apart from Him. Actually- the scripture says we can do nothing without Him. So, all my trying to be independent for my family actually results in a whole lot of wasted time and nothingness that, for me, means a period of being "cut-off" from the One I love most...

I am of no good or glory to God when I try to be independent of Him or simply try to "do it on my own." I must remain in Him to be of any good or for my life to glorifying to Him in any way.

The next few verses read as follows:

"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete...My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends..."

"I have told you this so my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." WOW, Do I ever desire that kinda joy to resound in my heart...Lately I have not felt much joy at all. It doesn't make sense, really. I am here in the place He has specifically planned for me to be, willing and ready to make disciples of Him, yet I am at a loss to find that sweet, sweet joy.

Back to chapel today...Danny shared a video clip that some of you may be familiar with. It is a clip of a father and son team running a triathlon together. (I apologize for not being able to remember the name) The father runs, bikes and swims the different sections of the race for both he and his son. His son is bound to a wheel chair stricken with a disease that leaves him unable to speak or walk. This video paints a picture of a Father who cares deeply for his son, despite the apparent weaknesses that his son has. The joy that radiates on the faces of both the son and the father throughout the race is unmistakable. This is very much like the way our Father cares for us. Despite, or maybe because of, our weakness, our dependence, His strength is more than enough for the both of us. He desires to radiate joy in our weakest, most dependant moments, just like joy radiates from the father's face in the video we watched today.

The last part of the scripture reads as follows: (and I love this)

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit- fruit that will last."

I was pretty emotional after chapel because I know that I have not been remaining in the Lord. I barely find the time for sweet quiet time with Him lately. I have let the world come before my God and I was hit hard in the face with that today. A sweet friend reminded me that His grace is enough and God will give us all that we need- He will be all that we need to be- He will enable us to do all that we need to do- if we only will let Him...

I am comforted that my God chose me- He chose me...He appointed me to go and bear fruit, and not just fruit that looks good on the outside, but is nasty on the inside. Not fruit that starts out sweet and juicy, but by the end leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. The scripture says, fruit that will last.

I have no choice but to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing by bringing me here, with all my weaknesses, all my faults, all my desires to be independent despite my need to be dependant. I trust Him because He created me and He knows the number of hairs on my head. He has all my tears in a bottle. He has my name written in His book of Life.

He chose me.

Thank you Father, for choosing me. Thank you Father for carving out my place in this life. Thank you Father for allowing me to remain in you and for remaining in me. Thank you for your mercy and your grace that is always enough. Thank you for being strong and matching my weakness with your strengths. I pray God that I might never become like the branch that is withered and thrown away. I pray God that I always look to you as my source of Life. I thank you and I praise you Father for the great things you have done. I pray for that sweet joy to resound in my heart Lord. I love you Father. Amen.